


Repetition

by TeamSeaSlug



Series: PHWEEK2020 [1]
Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Elliot Thinks Girls Have Cooties, Explicit Consent, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Taking Things Slow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-23 02:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23637439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamSeaSlug/pseuds/TeamSeaSlug
Summary: He didn’t exactly know. He had a word that it could possibly be, but he didn’t want to say it, or think it. So he would ignore it, and pretend that the word didn’t exist, so he could tell himself that what he felt was indescribable, and not have to face his feelings.
Relationships: Vincent Nightray/Ada Vessalius
Series: PHWEEK2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703002
Kudos: 19





	Repetition

**Author's Note:**

> For the PHWeek2020 on Twitter, Day 1! First prompt was First Kiss. Vincent needs more fluff.

Vincent Nightray was fifteen years old when he was kissed for the first time.

It was seven months after his Coming of Age Ceremony, with a girl who had just had hers. The Nightray family had urged him to attend for positive sociopolitical advantages, so he attended, simply put. He was the closest to her age in the Nightray family, with Gilbert being sixteen and Elliot being only eight years old. He also knew that there was a formal request for the possibility of marriage in the works, but it hadn’t gone through yet due to their age, so it wouldn’t be a horrible scandal for him to attend her birthday party. Though, even if it had been, Vincent wasn’t sure that he cared if he made a scene or not.

The girl in question, he had only met maybe once or twice. Being a nobleman now, he had to meet a lot of people and he couldn’t be bothered to remember every single person’s face and name. He disliked her in the same way he disliked most of the people he met, but she had black hair and green eyes, which was an aesthetically pleasing combination. Vincent felt his life would be much easier if he was never aesthetically attracted to anyone at all, ever, but that might have just been his age. Maybe it would go away as he got older, he figured.

They had kissed at the after-party of her ceremony, where Vincent spent as much time as it would be socially polite to stay away from the actual party itself. Since he was attending on business for his family, he would follow the proper protocols that he knew the Nightray family wished he would, and not much else extra added. He spent a lot of time counting down in his head when it would be seen as socially acceptable to leave. He had done all of the necessary civil activities on his mental checklist except for giving the host a gracious congratulations and a seemingly heartfelt thanks for allowing him to attend her most precious of days.

To do that, he had to find a window of opportunity, which was found when she- tired of dancing and mingling- went outside to the balcony to get some fresh air. He gave her some time to be alone before following after her, hands behind his back, running over his script of what he would say in his head to make sure it sounded absolutely perfect. Practiced, perfected, and polite- that was what he needed to be for the Nightray family, for his brother.

He called her name softly, as to not scare her, but it appeared he had startled her anyways. She jumped, facing him with a look of surprise, that quickly fell into a look of pure joy. _“Ah,”_ Vincent thought to himself. “ _She’s not too bright, now, is she?”_

“Did I startle you? I’m sorry,” he apologized, smiling back at her. She was resting her arms against the balcony and looking out, so Vincent joined her by her side. “I had just wanted to congratulate you, and wish you a happy birthday. The party is lovely.”  
  
“Oh, are you leaving so soon?”

Vincent didn’t answer. He had been at the party for more than an hour, what did people want of him? He wanted to go home, curl under the blankets, and sleep. “Have you been enjoying yourself?”

She nodded, and proceeded to describe in detail her favorite things about the party: how the food had turned out exactly how she had requested it, how Sharon Rainsworth had gifted her the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, how her dress had fit absolutely  _perfect_ and absolutely no one had outshone her on her special day. Vincent started tuning out what she was saying and wondered if  these sort of conversations were going to have to happen often in his life . He would have preferred spending his night at home,  with his brothers …

He cut back to reality when she said “Though, there is only one more thing that would make the night absolutely perfect.” Vincent foolishly asked what that would be, and she answered him by raising herself to her tiptoes and kissing him, and that was the end of that.

Vincent found the entire experience to be tremendously underwhelming. He had kissed her back absentmindedly, but found that the both of them didn’t quite know exactly what they were doing. He had never kissed anyone before, and he figured she had neither done so as well, and he found himself wondering, _“Is this all it is?”_

He wouldn’t necessarily consider himself tremendously romantic, but he figured it would at least be… something more. People made a big deal about kissing and he figured there would be… something that maybe clicked, and made everything that had been leading up to it feel like it was all worth it. Something that would make him happy. But he didn’t feel happy, nor even particularly upset. He just kissed her back, indifferent to it all.

After it had happened, he expected something to maybe spark in him hours later, but nothing happened at all.

Word got out very quickly about what had happened,  and that it was kind of a big deal . Apparently she had gushed to her friends that, before he left the party, Vincent Nightray had come up to her and kissed her, sweeping her off her feet… which wasn’t  really true.  The entire kiss seemed to be an incredibly joyous moment for her and she felt more than certain about her decision to go through with the formal marriage offering. Maybe, she had felt, they had fallen in love that night.

Vincent didn’t think such a thing would make such a profound impact. The days following had been normal to him, until the Nightray household had caught wind of it, and even then nothing  significant happened. There was some gossip, and little Elliot screamed in horror and disgust, “You  _kissed_ a  _girl_ ?! Gross!” That was probably the best thing that came out of it- and Vincent had teased the child that if he ever kissed a girl, there was a likely chance she was use her evil feminine powers to eat him whole, and that he should be afraid to ever kiss a girl, and that  Vincent had survived just barely. Gilbert had chastised him lightly for putting such nonsense into Elliot’s head, though  he also confessed that he had never kissed anyone before, and commented that he was surprised that Vincent had done so.

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Vincent admitted, shrugging his shoulders. Gilbert told him in unbelievable earnest that kissing a woman was a very big deal, and Vincent was torn between laughing and scoffing. He didn’t tell his brother that he intended to kiss someone again, and again, and maybe build that up as a skill. If it genuinely was seen as a big deal, and something that could effect people massively, then he could use it to his advantage.

To his brother’s face, he said he would “think about it”. Gilbert had frowned at him so tremendously that it made him feel a little bad for not feeling the supposed significance and romance of a kiss. He felt the need to apologize to his brother, but he didn’t, and the topic was dropped.

When asked by the Nightray household if he intended to marry the girl, Vincent rejected her proposal, and that was the end of that.

II

Vincent had been officially courting Ada Vessalius for a few months, and things had been running very smoothly. Ada was a proper woman, so it took quite some time before he could even hold her hand and be seen as being appropriate, so he had to move very slow. It was driving him a little mad, but if he intended to  tie her around his little finger he had to play by her rules, and he knew that. They would go on dates once a week (once every two weeks, if she was too busy), and he would treat her to absolutely everything. He would listen to her talk about anything and he even bothered to remember the names of the people she brought up. It became a normal part of his routine to adjust things around having to see Ada, and not the other way around.

He even listened to her talk about her… frankly, uncomfortable hobbies. He didn’t like them, but he knew he needed to listen to her talk about them anyways. And she knew that he didn’t care much for them, but she would get so excited talking about them, that she would ramble on and on until hours passed  and she wouldn’t even realize it. She didn’t have a lot of people she could talk about her special interests with personally, and to have someone so close to her that knew about it would make her so excited to dump information on him. And he knew that all he really needed to do was just sit and listen.

Her face would lighten up tremendously and she would babble on and on extensively, and he would only prod a little with a question or two. The way her face would change… it wasn’t bad to look at. He felt  one of his  many flaw s as a man was the fact that he was still, unfortunately, attracted to  other people , and if he felt no attraction to anyone at all he would be unstoppable.

Vincent was allowing Ada to set the pace of the relationship due to the fact that he was definitely much more experienced than she was. He had been with both men and women, though he had never courted them so long and so slowly. It was rather clear that she was growing quite attached to him,  but he still needed to be cautious. He felt that if he startled her off, all of the hard work he had put in would have been for nothing. So even though with anyone else he would have already been intimate with his partner, they were still kissless and non-intimate with each other; merely just flirting and subtle touches. Which was fine; Ada Vessalius melted at the lightest of touches, so Vincent felt it wasn’t much effort, just  a lot of time.

He took Ada out to quite a few places, so long as he felt they wouldn’t be caught by really nosy people. Both he and Ada felt the need to keep the relationship a bit more on the quiet side, so they didn’t need obnoxiously prying eyes until  they decided to go public. Ada had a few favorite places that they frequently revisited, one of them being a semi-secluded park with a nature walk- and that was where she had first kissed him.

It had been quite the shock to him. They had been talking about something completely unrelated, about how one of the novels that she was required to read for her studies was  a massive bore and that she just needed to power through it, when she stopped him with a hand on his arm and a, “There has been something on my mind recently.”

He turned to face her, waiting for her to continue. She had a determined look on her face, with her green eyes wide but the corners of her lips pinching a little. She didn’t say much of anything, but he could see that her eyes were studying his face by the way that they subtly moved, so he prompted her with a, “Do tell.”

“Mister Vincent Nightray, may I kiss you?”

Vincent almost sputtered, but he kept his composure. Ada looked incredibly serious, and it was a rare day that she called him by his full name when addressing him. It was also entirely unnecessary. The absurdity would have made him laugh if the intensity of her stare wasn’t silencing him completely, making his face feel hot under her gaze.

What was with her? He had never been asked if someone could kiss her before. Usually he was just… kissed, or he would just kiss someone else if he knew they would be receptive to it. The simple fact of it was making him unbelievably nervous. His heart jumped as if he was in unknown territory, and he looked around to see if anyone was nearby. The last thing he wanted would be for someone to come by and find them.

“That is,” he cleared his throat, his voice sounding oddly strained. “quite alright.”

She didn’t kiss him right away, so he wondered if he was supposed to kiss her in that gap of time. She was looking so incredibly determined, as if kissing him was a herculean task that she knew she was completely capable of, but still required quite a bit of effort.  He felt the compulsion to nervously laugh bubble up in his chest, but he did not act on it, just looked back at her. He wanted to turn away but felt rooted to the spot. He had kissed people plenty of times before but suddenly  he  didn’t exactly know what to do with his hands.

She moved closer to him, closing the gap between them, but then stopped. Vincent waited. The silent tension in Vincent’s skull was drowning out the rest of the world, and muddling everything else around them. It was a beautiful day with the birds chirping loudly and the sun shining, and Vincent would rather have stayed inside and slept the day away, but it was beginning to become hard to imagine himself in any other spot in the world than standing before Ada Vessalius’ analyzing eyes. 

Her face was unchanging, but she tilted her head up to him, and he decided to mirror the movement and lower himself, but then she stopped moving again, so he mimicked and ceased his movements. His face was closer to hers than it had ever been. Her lashes were very long and he was more than a little partial to her emerald green eyes. 

She started leaning a little closer, and Vincent’s brain began to panic with an unknown feeling, and the intensity of it all frightened him. He clenched and unclenched his hands,  and could feel heat creeping up into his cheeks. He wondered if the entire thing was some sort of trap, some sort of lure, some sort of curse that she had placed on him, if he had been deceived and tricked. 

When she finally kissed him, slowly and softly, something that was barely there, like wings on a butterfly against his skin- he decided to forget, at least for the moment, about being deceived, about curses and witches, and just allow himself to breathe and melt into it. 

The kiss was not sudden, and had taken quite some time, but Vincent still felt some sort of shock when it finally happened, a jolt in his chest that sprung all the way down to his feet. Ada began kissing him a little harder, but not  actually hard at all, and he exhaled through his nose after reminding himself that he needed to breathe, and to stop holding his breath. He hadn’t realized that he had closed his eyes.

The entire thing didn’t last long at all, and she pulled away, but didn’t move far at all away from him. When he felt her move, he opened his eyes; her face was red, but she was smiling a little, and something about that made him feel…

He didn’t exactly know. He had a word that it could possibly be, but he didn’t want to say it, or think it. So he would ignore it, and pretend that the word didn’t exist, so he could tell himself that  what he felt  was indescribable,  and not have to face his feelings. 

He felt he should say something to her, but he didn’t know what. She broke the silence on her own by asking him, very quietly, “May I kiss you again?”

With very little hesitation he responded, in a voice that sounded almost unfamiliar to him, “Yes”, and she wasted no time kissing him again. For the second time, he was a bit more prepared, and was able to place his hands on her; one touching her waist and the other holding her hip harder than he probably needed to hold her. It was as if he was keeping her there, clinging, but he knew even if he let her go, she wouldn’t leave at all, and would stay there, kissing him as time melted.

It certainly wasn’t the most impressive kiss he had ever had. Ada had never kissed anyone and he knew that, but he at the same time felt that it was the one of the best things he had ever felt. Somehow, Ada Vessalius had mastered doing something once, mastered it in a way that he had never known even existed. 

The kiss was chaste and simple,  even innocent, but that was fine by Vincent, for if it was anything else, he felt he would simply lose all semblance of composure completely, and be forced to come to the realization that he was feeling something he didn’t want to ever think, or ever say.

And when they parted again, Ada looking positively pleased, Vincent asked on a sigh a question she knew was coming, and she answered him by pressing their lips together again, and Vincent realized that the feeling that was meant to come with a kiss, that significant feeling was happening, and he was falling into something that he never wanted to climb out of. 


End file.
